I love sucking dick but im not gay meme
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If you tried talking to a penis about daily discharge, menstruation, pH balance, or pap smears, the penis would have nothing to say in return. As much as I love my vagina and all its parts, I do often find myself jealous of how worry-free the penis seems to be. The standard penis has quite a practical and sleek design, which I greatly admire. Now, before you go and report me to the MRA, I want to clarify that this does not at all mean I hate penises. I’ve never enjoyed cramming a penis in my mouth. Here’s the thing, though: I fucking hate it. I know this statement is sure to enrage heaps of men, and even women, who consider blowjobs a mandatory part of anyone’s sexual repertoire. It was apparent that he, too, identified fellatio as the beacon of a sexually liberal woman-like some sort of slutty bat signal.”ġ0. My boyfriend couldn’t get past the idea that hating blow jobs didn’t mean hating sex, and seemed to feel he was signing up for a lifetime of blue balls and late nights in front of the computer screen.
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(He was pretty terrible at cunnilingus in the first place, so I could get on board with this.) But unfortunately, the conversation only went south from here. The conversation turned into an instant negotiation in which we both probed the other on the various aspects of sex that mattered to us.įirst on the list? If he wasn’t getting any, he wasn’t giving any. What sounded totally rational in my head-‘I love you and, although committed to our mutual satisfaction, would prefer not to suck you off anymore’-received a less than gracious response. If there was ever a time to be honest, this was it. We were past the early stage of our relationship-the part where girls will do anything to appear low-maintenance, casual, and DTF-and we’d even the dropped the L bomb. “I told my boyfriend of eight months that I hate giving head. ‘I love you and, although committed to our mutual satisfaction, would prefer not to suck you off anymore.’ And it doesn’t matter whether you spit or swallow some of them will definitely end up wedged in sad little sperm graveyards between your teeth.”ĩ. Grouped together, they have the consistency of warm snot and the taste of broken dreams. (Which is just a nice way of saying that he explodes 1 billion little wriggly sperm into your mouth, which immediately begin gasping for air, racing towards an egg they’ll never find). Some of them will definitely end up wedged in sad little sperm graveyards between your teeth.
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I am not really that keen on tasting other people’s body fluids.”Ĩ. I can’t stop visualizing it as a penis sneezing in my mouth. “I don’t mind blowjobs, but swallowing is just the worst. I have many other sexual skills that others don’t so bjs…not a big deal.”ħ. I find it a little silly when guys are like…well I’m not going down on you then. There is rare occasions like once every year I do feel like doing it usually when I’m very drunk and comfortable with the guy. It triggers off PTSD and makes me feel very uncomfortable.
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I try to find other ways of satisfying him, like using my hands.” “It makes me want to throw up so I never do it, much to my boyfriend’s dissatisfaction. It’s not from lack of trying, though! The taste and the smell are unbearable, even if my boyfriend’s just stepped straight out of the shower! Just thinking about it makes me retch.” “If I never suck another dick again, I definitely won’t miss it.”ģ. If I never suck another dick again, I definitely won’t miss it. How long have I been doing this for? Forty minutes? No? It’s only been 10? Well, in blowjob minutes, that’s like an hour and a half, so I stand by my original point.”Ģ. “Even when it doesn’t take forever, it still feels like it’s taking forever. Even when it doesn’t take forever, it still feels like it’s taking forever.